while tb loads...

i can't sing the praises of the new car enough. i want to open her up so bad, but the cops here are ferocious! she's seriously a ticket waiting to happen.

especially for you, i HIGHLY recommend test driving one when you're ready to buy something new. i feel like it's the perfect blend of your fun racey cars and something long-lasting and practical. and it will last for a REALLY long time. and with the AWD that comes standard, you'd be able to dart all over that curvy hill with no thought of sloshiness - no matter the conditions. and this one is automatic with the manual sport shift thing which i can't WAIT to use. and the sound... OH the sound.

unfortunately, you automatically turn into a lesbian when you buy one. :)

TB Notes

Seriously, why can't -he- just DIE?! The show doesn't need him. *sigh*

Erik's going to play the other team for a bit? Innnnnteresting.

I don't think that worked Tara...sorry...

I'm not happy with this Lafayette turn of events.

Mmmm wolf butt.

At least this season has less of the whiney bitch and more of a plot, but I'm interested to know what she is now.

I like that the show has 2 red heads.

THIS is why you can't declare bankruptcy

my bankruptcy is going to come off my credit in less than 1 year and my credit union STILL won't finance me for a car because there is a bankruptcy on my credit. that is the SOLE reason.

i'm not saying, i'm jsut saying.

Patrick Dennis & Crepes

Tonight. :)
I don't know anything about this band he is with...but it should be good times right?

presentation deets

HOW'D IT GO? you killed it, right? they loved your awesomeness and said "sold!" i just know it.

i'm a-gonna pee my pants

matt and scrappy are coming up here in november. i'm super tres excited.

hi.

I really miss you. :)
I would like to see you or at least talk to you again soon.

cooking

i'm starting to see what people mean when they say cooking is relaxing. i just made a whole night of baking some swordfish steaks i got at trader joes in a tomato basil... thing. walked down to the trader joes, picked up some supplies, walked home, did the dishes, got everything ready and cooked away and it was super mellow and nice. it might not be good, i don't know, but it kind of doesn't matter now... i should remember this tomorrow at lunch when i'm eating what i just made.

maybe i'll start eating meals right after cooking rather than cooking for lunch. :)

ps - i need to work on sautee-ing.

true blood

i think franklin is my new favorite. purely for entertainment value. he's hysterical! in SO MANY ways!

nope

he didn't show. but it doesn't really surprise me. boys have a short attention span. :)

how excited are you about this weekend?!

i think this is true about life too.

This was in my head a lot yesterday and still - "Everyone is tired, you're here to run." -Spirit of the Marathon

Check out Sunday

Treasure Island Music Fest

I may be in Socal - but I love that we have festivals like this in the Bay. :)

affirmation

guess what straight girl found the only straight boy at the 3 gay clubs we went to on saturday night?

and the boy was cute about things - said he didn't want to get my number at a bar, so he needed to meet up with me somewhere. he chose the place and i chose the date. midnight on 7/15 at 21st and glisan.
i have to go only to promote and encourage assertiveness in portland boys because they're "shy" (read: lazy).



ps - i do NOT remember when he looks like. just that he was tall and named lionel. like ritchie. and that he's drunk gay boy approved.

The Hair

Isn't this totally Patrick Dennis hair?

stuff and stuff

have i adequately expressed how unbelievably excited i am to have my own place again? when i said i'd consider doing a room share thing when i first got here, i must have been high. seriously. because having my own place ROCKS MY FACE.

i love it i love it i love it.

if i ever meet a man that is single and hangs out long enough for there to be discussion of joining quaters, he'd better be rich so he can get a house with 2 separate wings with separate kitchens and bathrooms and whatnot with a communal room where there is a huge bed for screwing. and movie watching. and pillow fights.

WOW. that sounds pretty heavenly. or he can just get the apartment next door and we'll just meet up for cuddling, screwing and conversation. :)

anyhooters, i've decided that i'm going to celebrate having my own space as much as i can and i feel like actually USING space is the way to do that. so, once i get a complete kitchen together, i'm going to make myself cook a new meal at least 2 times a week. i kind of did it yesterday and i poached salmon and made some brown rice and IT WAS GOOD. i seriously surprised myself because i usually don't do shite like that.

i feel awesome and accomplished.
oh, and i wore a dress to walk around and do my errands on saturday and got 2 catcalls, 2 homeless dudes talking to me, 3 "nice dress!"s and lots of stares. it was weird but good and i want to do it again.

how was your 4th?

Congrats!

Looks like there is lots to celebrate this independence day for you? Steps towards independence? How are things?

Things here are okay. I'd like to be mentally and physically healthy for a bit. My highlight for June is that I survived 4 days with his mother. :)

Unplugged

dreams

ryan was all OVER my dreams last night. in the weirdest way. it's oddly unsettling. :)

true blood

premiere? worth it?

how much deliciousness was there?

there needs to be a new post here.

Something...anything...that doesn't say "gunman" when I check. (Ugh. Finally getting over that.)

Today's thoughts:
Hal Sparks, comedian, has never drank...how does that happen? Not once? I mean, I guess I've never smoked a cigarette...but I googled and expected him to be Mormon, but he's not. He's also never smoked pot...but is a giant advocate for legalizing it...because he believes in hemp. I don't know why, but after watching this guy for an hour...I think I have a crush on him in a weird brain way.

I am in love. (Though, his mother is coming soon...watch out.) I also really love my bike, my body and my garden in a pretty giant way right now. Also, the entire "The Girl Who..." series, sort of rocked my world, and I highly recommend it. There is 250 pages left for me, the author is dead, and I'm going to mourn losing the awesomeness that is the female lead. I think you would like her.

There is not enough time to do big things I need to. I've not a lot of discipline, routine, schedule or structure in my own life right now, I'm flailing, but at least above water. Things at work are eh, and not a lot of good news on the horizon.

How goes things with you? You doing okay?

so...

gunman? at your door? what's up with that??

SERIOUSLY.

happy birthday

pretty gardening runner lady!

i hope the week's been awesome for you.

I miss you a lot

I don't think I've gone a whole year without seeing you in a really long time.

observation

there is a LOT of pot in portland. and it's not mexi or anything! it's sticky and stinky and i'm pretty sure i've gotten high more times since i've been here than i have collectively throughout the rest of my life previously. not entirely sure how i'm feeling about that.

treasure hunting

the goodie two skates and i went treasure hunting today and found her a camcorder for $120 at a pawn shop. now i've been tasked with figuring out how it works and then showing her. i can't believe the people i've met here so far. i hope i can keep them.

I just have to share.

He loves me. He said so. Last Thursday.
Also - I'm going home with him for Christmas.
And his Mom is coming next month.
I'm really happy with him.

i just need to put this somewhere...

i can't express enough how grateful and thankful i am to have a fredvanvactor in my life. the dude is doing a perfect job of taking care of me right now. and what's awesome is that i think i'm going to be able to repay the gesture sooner than i think.

every day this week i think...

...I need to email Shannon and respond to those things...and yet, here I am, and it is Friday, and I cannot keep my head above the water still. This is not the kind of friend I wanted to start out being. I am quietly scolding myself, while hoping you don't think I'm ignoring you. I cannot wait until tomorrow when I can feel like I'm catching up again...and maybe have some clean clothes...and be able to communicate. Right now, I am the lady spinning the plates, and if any fall...whew boy, I'm in trouble.

do you know what i've found here?

not a job. not a place. but i found my very first 2 fairy godgays. my first ever. i love them already.

i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'.

maybe

maybe i'll join the military. i have a wicked mind and they'll pay me, pay for my housing and likely send me to exotic locales. and when i'm done, they'll pay for my schooling.

hm.

today is the day

that i start freaking out that i don't have a job yet. i can feel the heat creeping up the back of my neck. bleh! it doesn't help that one of fred's roommates - the guy who owns the house - is a creep and really weird. the other 2 roommates are the shiz, but this one is a whole lot to handle - no one really likes him, they all just tolerate him. i almost wish he wasn't here and i could rent out his room - that would be AWESOME.
having faith that i'm provided for and that things will work out and relinquishing control is difficult for me right now. geh.

i just needed to vent a bit.

Yeah, I don't know what to say about this, but I thought you might have some words

and i think you may appreciate this:

this is my garmin:




boys can have their toys - i just need this.

I thought you might appreciate this

Rainbow Kitty

introductions

hi, i'm shannon. i just turned 30 and didn't celebrate it in the slightest. i think that just means that i'm going to have a rockin' party in p-town for the 31st - it's a saturday, so it'll be ok.
i used to have a nickname, but i don't have it anymore because i let it get out of control and be the only thing that defined me - silly nickname. i don't know what to call myself anymore.
and i just led a hot yoga class - immediately after swimming for 30 minutes - and wasn't really that nervous about it - maybe the fact that it was a silent class made me less nervous.

i have changed as a person in the past year, 6 months, 4 months, 1 month, 1 week. i'm not entirely sure how to define myself right now or even how i'm going to be around people - new ones as well as the ones that have been around. i've found out that i'm an adventurous, bold, beautiful (yes, i am finally ready to own that descriptor of myself), caring, funny, silly and WEIRD person amongst many other things. i'm learning to outwardly express my feelings towards those who need to hear them. i'm learning how to tell people they're being an asshole to me AT THE TIME (key), rather than sitting on that feeling and letting it build until the time passes where the expression is going to be lost. that is extremely difficult for me, but it's something i need to learn. i most definitely do NOT have it "all figured out", but i have enough now that my anxiety is gone or severely dwindling. at this time, i feel like i'm never going to crave xanax again. :)
i do worry that if i talk too much about it, i'll start sounding all new-agey or floaty or like that person that i want to slap silly whenever i go to buy candles. i am much more relaxed with things at this point in time. i'm more ready to accept the awesomeness that i am and that i surround myself with - i was always afraid of it far a lot of reasons. the ceaseless chatter in my head has died down dramatically. it's not gone, but it may never be gone.
i have stopped worrying about living my life around other people - not going to this show because so-and-so is going to be there and it'll be awkward, or not going to this town because this and that happened there and this person/these people are there and i'm going to have to see them. "fuck it", i say - "i'm fine with whatever happened to have happened between us at that time, if you're not, you'll tell me and it'll get resolved and then it'll be done."
all of this is subject to change though once i get back into the "real" world, but i really do like feeling this way, so i hope it stays.

tori, i don't know that we're ever going to be where we were before - that is something that is up to both of us and up to time. to be perfectly honest, where we were before wasn't perfect. it was definitely great, but certainly not the be all and end all in relationships. frankly, i would be more than happy to see our friendship (should you choose to have it) grow into something greater than it was before and i think it can.

ps - you SHOULD run the 1/2 marathon instead of THINKING you're going to run the half marathon. :D think of it this way, if you can live through running 13.3 miles, you can live through most anything AND you get bragging rights.

I realized something.

You may not want us to be us again just because you're back and you might want us to be friends again. I realize, you may not be anything like the person you were a year ago. And that's okay. I realized a lot while you were gone that while I was very upset and hurt and mad at you for the choices that you made, they were your decisions to make. It is my selfishness and loneliness that made it all suck from my side.

You took up a lot of space in my life, and when you were gone, I wasn't sure what to do with that space. Or this one. I don't even know if you want this space anymore. I don't know anything except my stuff. And so why I work on my stuff, I'd like to maybe start to see who you are and what kind of friends we might be again.

Hi, I'm Tori...I think I'm going to run a 1/2 marathon in 3 months on my bad knees, and today is my boyfriend's birthday. He still thinks he's the king.

I'm torn.

I want to give you posting access back here, but I am not sure I am ready for us to be us again, but I am not sure I am ready to talk directly to you either. More than 1/2 of me is still so furious with you, I can barely even think about talking to you. Then there is part of me that wants to send you everything I've written down that I want to say to you so we can get on with this. I hate that I miss you so much and that I'm pretty sure I can't stay mad at you forever, even though sometimes I want to.

Let's start with, I am not sure how much of the pieces you have put together about what happened with me when you were gone, or if you have figured out how much we all know about how long you had planned to leave, who you were, and where you were while you were gone. We know a lot. We can put together pieces nicely. This family that you so quickly discarded is stronger and tighter than you could have ever guessed. It was all of that added in that made me so much more angry over the months you were gone. I wish I didn't know how long you had planned to screw me over.

I will also say, I feel that crazy is not an excuse - we are all fucking crazy. And the more you say crazy rehab and seem to make a joke out of what you did, the less I think you could have any genuine understanding of how fucked up I think what you did to me was. (And I should add, what you did to all the people who don't know that you threw them away and said they didn't care about you.) I'm happy for you that you had some cathartic growth from it, but I don't really feel that I am comfortable with that as enough of a benefit from the damage you caused to let you back in my life.

So I'm just not sure what to do. I'm appreciative you are trying, and I am thankful that you find me someone you may want to re-evaluate. But I'm not exactly sure I can trust you again. You really hurt me, and I'm not sure I'm ready to give you everything that comes with me saying how and how bad.

I'm just going to need some time.

You were my sister, and you broke my heart.

Quote

http://pitchfork.com/news/38381-echo-chamber-iggy-pop/

"Years ago, some girl wrote in the classifieds saying she was looking for a man 'with the poetic sensitivity of Leonard Cohen and the raw power of Iggy Pop,' so Leonard tried to get me to set up a three-way with her [laughs]. He said, 'Dude, we can give her both!'"

-- Iggy Pop. (via Rolling Stone)

i don't want to work

i have 1.5 more days and i don't want to work. my new system isn't working, the people i have to work for are getting shittier and shittier and making it so that i don't want to do anything for them and i'm getting totally antsy.

GAH!

any suggestions

on how to make the floor a comfortable place to sit?

we had this, this close to our faces,

and now I am sad that even though Ryan is retired and you are running around the world, that no matter how much I wish and dream, that magic that changed so much for me musically...is gone. Death is so dumb.

the best thing i've seen all week!

fitting

with regards to last night's news...

the first song on the itunes this morning - "why do they leave?"

motherfucker.

stuff...

the little things are going FAST on craiglist, but the furniture... there's no interest at all in it. the couch, my rocking chair, my little 4 top shelves... :(

i'm all out of electronics except the ones i'm bringing with me. ha! and tomorrow i'll be out of kitchen stuff too. hello cereal for all 3 meals for the next 2 weeks or so.

this is kinda weird.

live musica

I am taking the boy to see Todd tonight. :)

SHOES!

i just got my shoes. they're purple and awesome. thus begins the break in period.

these next few weeks are going to CRAWL by.

Ch-ching.

Seriously. If Steve is even getting 5 cents for every time XM is playing "You Remind Me" on the Singer and Songwriter station, he is a happy, happy man.

I'm guessing you are going to be on the other side of the world in February?

where am I again?

It is 30 degrees outside, and says it feels like 25. WHAT?!

i can't recommend

these pants enough:

marisa fit

i can't stop looking at my ass in these pants. it's FABULOUS!

music in context

Has there ever been a band, that you thought you didn't like, but in the end, you heard them in a different place and context and couldn't believe you didn't like them before? I've been in the "I need to blast the black keys through my ear drums" mood this past week or two at work, and I'm finding that while I rarely found myself drawn to anything more than the trendiest of White Stripes songs in the past, in the context of this station on Pandora and my need for that raw amplified electric guitar, I'm finding they are delicious and wonderful. It is very weird, because I can remember being pretty unenthusiastic about them before, but now, wow!

douche

The user picture here for this page, is absolutely hilarious.

ps

i'm officially reformatting and selling penelope the powerbook on tuesday. i hope i get at least $100 for her. she's a good little kitten.

i REALLY need to decide

where i'm going to start. REALLY. and i don't even know how to begin to decide.

i found this website that has airfares to western europe under $500 and oceania under $850 which is SUPER great considering i'm leaving from austin.

HOW DO I DECIDE?!?!

Happy Thanksgiving from Ireland.

In honor of where we were supposed to be, (or one of the places) I went to Flickr and found this image that was taken today so we could see what our sky looks like.

You already know how gay I am for you, but I really am thankful for you and the very unique you that you bring to my life.

It is sunny and cold here today, it feels like fall and my house smells like roasted squash. I'm happy. I hope you're having an awesome day.

i got it

the backpack. it's perfect. i've named him oliver.

oliver the osprey porter.

he's all black and grey and rarin' to go. i can carry him as a duffel 2 ways with backpack straps that zip into the back of the pack so they don't hang out and get caught on crap. he fits in the overhead compartments. he's SUPER light and i want to cuddle with him until i put him to good use.

and EVERYONE loves him. as you can tell from the super rad reviews.

I did not know this was a real place.

I think I should visit it.

I have not watched this yet, but thought you might like it.

Chuck Prophet Documentary

photo project

If you were going to take a picture of one thing in every city that you visited, what do you think is some neat, obscure thing that varies or doesn't vary between cultures, that at the end of your tour would make a really neat and fun set of your travels?

This could be a lifetime project...for both of us.

i'm growing up

I got a coffee table.
My living room & bedroom are coming together. I may even frame my Ryan posters and hang them today.
You've been inspirational in the cleaning out the crap in my life and growing up a little.
Hopefully by the end of today, there will be no cluttered or dirty hidden places.
I even vacuumed under my couch, and got rid of that big dusty entertainment center. (Actually, it's sitting in the hallway until some big guy with a big vehicle can help me move it...but it's not in here...and I'm straight giddy.)
It was pretty amusing yesterday, I measured my backseat, and bought the table, and it was supposed to fit, but I didn't take into account the 2 inches I lose on each inside to the door handle. But I made it fit dammit. And now it is here and it's so pretty. It's the same one Mike has, I hope he doesn't mind.

By the way, he said "luv, mike" in his last email. We're 12. But, it's progress. I'm giddy. :)

Btw, if for some reason, you need to leave from the west coast or SFO, and need to dump your car some place for a while, we can talk about options for you around here.

so

i got my backpack. it's too big and i have to send it back. dammit.

Jack's Mannequin

Have you heard of this band before? I heard them on Letterman last night and I think I sort of like them a lot.

kris kristofferson

"I slipped at fell before the finish line
just when it seemed I couldn't loose
I can fall anytime you want me too
you are the shit beneath my shoe."

Seriously. Seriously raddest lyric ever.

very excited!

this week's strabucks free song is a richard hawley song! i've known about this guy for YEARS and he's always reminded me of gregory page. i always want to say "the british gregory page" but then i remember that gregory IS british. oops.

:)

so, if this guy can get into starbucks and have tons of people hear his song, then gregory can too! hope is on the horizon!

i just needed to tell someone...

the next car payment i make - the day before thanksgiving - is going to be my last car payment.

WOO HOO!

I think this is us too.

btw

It was sort of nice to hear your voice the other day. :)

wondering

are there mountaineers anymore? people who climb mountains for a living? how does one come into that profession? have all the mountains been scaled?

just curious.

i hate it

when people at work want me to do MORE work to perpetuate their laziness. it makes me want to fling poo at them.

i work for assholes.

Ha.

Reasons I love my town

I don't even know where to start. Maybe the incorrect use of the plural in the subject...or the fact that 2 copies of this 4 paged document were pinned to the bulletin board at the local laundry mat...oh, the list could go on and on...

Questions of the Day

What were some CDs that you had forgotten you had buried in your collection when you sold them? What were some that you were embarrassed to bring to the counter?

I am going to put together a CD for my friend Kim, of songs she can sing to her kid. I'm going to put a lot of Steve on there, so there is Sugar Boogers and the cover of the Shel Silverstein song that he sings sometimes...can you think of any other Steve songs that are "child friendly"? Can you think of any other awesome pop culture songs other than "Sweet Child of Mine" that would be neat to put on there as well?

musical responsibilities

There is Chuck & Crepes tonight, but I have been in bed with a headache since this morning, and it's cold and I just want to snuggle. I have 2 hours to rally.

I do.

what i like

when cute boys at the sammich shop flirt with me. it makes the waiting for 2 hours at the social security office fade into the ether. well, 95% of it.

Icy Monsta

weekend

this weekend i did nothing but watch "red dwarf", a british tv show, and now, whenever i call someone an idiot in my head, it comes out british. they're either a "git" or a "smeghead" or a "prat".

oh, there's something wrong with me.

Some day when we are rich...

Add this to the list of hippie-dippy things we can do one time when you visit...$200 Essence Portraits.

"Essence Portraits*
Watch your inner landscape unfold in brilliant colors while discovering your Spirit Guides, Angels, Animal Spirits and Soul Mates as Sofanya paints your Essence through your unique color patterns."

dangerous!

so, the new lena is windows and i can now watch netflix movies online.

i don't think i'll ever get to sleep again.

band name

handsome hair farm

its official

today is "let's treat shannon like a girl" day. by my decree. i don't want to have to change water bottles. i don't want to have to open doors. i want to be touched gently and nicely like i'm a magical unicorn.

dammit.

thank you again

I found my Jimi Hendrix hat this weekend in storage. I had forgotten about it since I didn't go to the playa this year. I really love this hat. I might start wearing it every day. Thank you again!

So I have your present, but I realize now that if you are selling everything, you probably don't even want it. So I'm thinking I should just tell you what it is, and maybe some day if you decide you want it, then you can have it, and I'll just keep it for safe keeping on my shelf as a decoration, even though I can't really use it.

friday

the best thing that happened on friday besides my leaving work early because i had a fever? when i went to the half-price books to sell a box of cds and the hipsters look at me amazed as they offer me $100 for the box of cds. they kept on saying "you've got a lot of good stuff in here". over and over and over. like i, of the clean jeans and brushed hair, was not allowed to have THAT MUCH good stuff.
i just said, "i've got 8 more boxes just like them".

i like amazing hipsters. they're funny.

fuck

I knew I missed you, but I didn't know it was this much until I sent him to get on a plane this morning to see you and I'm not getting to. That's lame. :(

I wish I was going to see where the wild things are with you. I was just thinking about it and who I want to see it with and I don't think there is anyone I feel that little kid tromp through the forest feeling with, except for you.

I love you a lot. :)

More silly marshmellows...

Stuff Hipsters Hate - Running

Running

Oh, shit—is that my motherfucking bus? Shit, shit, shit—I’m a whole fucking block away. I’ll just start walking really fast. Ah, fuck. I can’t be late again. I can’t. I’ve been fucking late the last two days and they’ll fucking fire me. It’s a stupid temp job, but still—I have to make rent this month. I can’t ask Mom and Dad to spot me again or they’ll think I’m a deadbeat. Oh, shit—this bag is so fucking heavy. Why the hell did I have to bring this fucking mammoth Philip K. Dick anthology? And my flask. Maybe I should run? Oh, fuck, I look like an idiot. I will not pump my arms like some kind of obese power walker. I will not. Hands at sides. Hands at sides. Shit! Stitch in my side, stitch in my side, stitch.in.my.side. I can’t breathe. Maybe I should stop smoking. Maybe I should stop drinking. Maybe I should, like, start exercising somehow. Oh, fuck. My feet hurt. These Vans are not made for running. Gonna stop now. Hands on knees. Breathe. Shit. Goodbye motherfucking bus. Oh, fuck that fucking job. Seems like a good day for some day-drinking. I deserve it. I fucking exercised.

ice cream

that target brand caramel salted pretzel ice cream? not worth it. it's not the salted caramel ice cream. it's not even close.

i don't recommend it. just wanted to save you the trouble and time. :)

i just put my finger on it.

dave matthews sounds like a mentally challenged person. i want to use the other word, but i'm feeling pc today.

fuck it.

dave matthews sounds like a retard. he can't enunciate words. 89% of the time, i can't understand one word he says. how did i ever like these guys?!

i just needed...

to reiterate the obvious - steve is obscenely brilliant.

sometimes you just need to hear the right amount of the right thing to realize. and sometimes that right thing is "answering machine".

my face hurts.

Prepping

Turns out, all your financial pep talk stuff may be coming into use very soon. This week I am going to a credit union to find out if I can get pre-approved to buy a car, and my uncle is hooking me up with his friend who has access to the friends and family program at one of the dealers, and I'm going to get myself a different car. I'm terrified, but I find your voice in my head constantly, and your beautiful budget laid out for me so nicely, that I'm a little less scared about it all.

I want a camera, I want a vacation, but I'm 31 and it's time to not have to worry about my car not starting every time I need it to. The past few months have been a wreck, it's time to have peace of mind in ...something.

Marshmellows

Unsubstantiated! However, one Twitterer recently twote that she "Just found out cops in Williamsburg call hipsters marshmallows because we are white and soft." Whether or not this is true, we would like to recommend that everyone use "marshmallow" going forward — it is much less amorphous than the H word.

so...

i'm beginning to realize why these "auxiliary" cds weren't on my itunes - besides the fact that i didn't have room.

i have pretty questionable taste in music sometimes. the dave matthews phase? REALLY??? can these songs BE any longer?!?! it's like he's hypnotizing me! i'm SO glad i've blacked that time out of my memory. i went to A LOT of dave matthews shows. far too many for someone who's not a frat boy stoner.
and all the fiddling. i mean, i LOVE me some fiddle, but i have, like, 14 MILLION cds of it. and the lorena mckennitt. it's bedtime music. only it's bedtYme music that will make my dream of flowing dresses, dragons, knights and kilts - marred with turkey leg stands.

oy!

geek

i am such a geek for kenneth branagh shakespeare remakes. BIGGEST GEEK EVER.

"much ado about nothing" will always be able to make me snicker.

shows

I missed watching shows with you. Do you get Showtime or just HBO?

I want my mommy.

:( I am a bad bad bad bad sick person.
Swine Flu is no joke.

flowers

i've really only been sent flowers once. they were delivered at work and it was totally unexpected and needed and perfect for that moment.
in going through my stuff to clean up, i found the card from the flowers:

shannon, i hope you feel better. i'm sorry i didn't do that thing that you wanted me to do that one night when you wanted it so bad. i'll try to do better next time.

fudge sent them. he made someone HAND-WRITE the card. and the "it" isn't to be discussed around polite company.

i thought you'd enjoy that.

one more thing

the sky over me is ORANGE right now. like bevo bled all over the sky orange. like great pumpkin orange. it's awesomely freaky!!

i tried to take pics, but i don't know how to fidget my settings so it gets the orange. it just gets yellow. :p

i've been pretty talky today.

is troy right?

is daner putting off her show until the spring??

i'm never going to see her again. :(

question for you

so, california has the whole medical marijuana thing going on, right? and you need a prescription to get it, right?
i wonder if you can put your medical pot on your 125 card and have your year's worth of pot pre-paid and taken out of your paycheck before taxes? tax-free pot.

hm.

just curious.

i now believe in the laundry monster.

i'm missing 1 pillowcase. ONE. how could i not have noticed it when i washed the sheets and folded them up? why only take one, laundry monster?

i think it lives in my closet. there are so many more tasty items it could have taken.

I realized somethings

1) Drinking makes me feel old. I am just the type to have a drink and want to go to bed. Drinking has never been a big event for me, but lately more than ever, I've just wanted to have "a" drink and sleep. When I hear songs on the radio about drinking and partying, I just think "where do these people get the energy?" and "when was I supposed to have been doing this?" This whole "party lifestyle" that I seemingly feel like I missed out on just makes me feel old and depressed at 31, but really, did I miss anything by not being "that" girl in my 20's? When we looked out the window of our hotel room last Saturday, there was a line around the block to get in the hotel ballroom to party. I thought of all the girls cold with no jackets in painful shoes waiting over an hour to get into this place where they were going to play this game that I just am not envious of. at all.

2) I think if I were going to be an alcoholic, I would drink tequila and collect really good tequilas. I have over 60 bottles of vodka in my house, and almost all of them are 3 or more years old. I obviously do not have a genetic need to drink or a problem with alcohol, there is no way I know those would last. (I just like the bottles and the neatness of collecting them.) I drink rarely and in spurts or weekends for vacations. But oh. my. god. When I drink tequila...I feel happy happy. Yay happy. Like 2 margaritas and I'm a happy girl happy. It's not the same as other alcohol. But oh tequila, for years and years...I've realized how much I enjoy that very special and different little specialness. It is weird because it is also the alcohol that most of my friends have "banned" and have the most bad memories associated with, and I have the most good associations with it. (But I've never had "that" experience with any particular alcohol to be unable to consume it in the future.)

curious

why all the loan officers i work for think i'm psychic. seriously. i'm supposed to know seller concessions n a contract that i don't have yet. i'm supposed to know about additional income that wasn't disclosed on the application that i received. and then they sass the answer to me like "i knew it, why didn't you?".

they totally don't pay me enough to turn on my psychic abilities.

cuntboogers.