so, one of the things that i worked on with carlos in new mexico was telling people that they were being assholes WHEN they're being assholes and not holding on to it. i had to put that into practice on my birthday when carlos was a major asshole to me - and he was doing it on purpose. it was a pretty fantastic day, let me tell you.
now i'm in a situation where i'm being tested. by someone who is not nearly as open to the feelings of others as carlos is. as a matter of fact, i would say he's the opposite of carlos in that aspect. but i KNOW in my gut that this is a person that i'm suppoed to test this on - supposed to start telling him he's being an asshole at the time of the shitty behavior rather than later on when i've had time to edit myself.
unfortunately, this person is someone i work with. and he's the most tightly wound person i've EVER MET. seriously. and everyone in the office knows it and everyone in the office knows he's a douche. he shits all over me, everyday. he treats me with the utmost disrespect and the other processor that's sitting here seeing it - she's like "i would have killed him by now". my need to lay into him is boiling at the surface. but when i get riled up, my tact filter goes away and i let it all out in a non-constructive way and, while i know that saying something isn't going to change how i'm treated, i know that saying everything i want to say in the way that will make me feel better is a great way to get me fired.
it feels fruitless to say anything, but it feels shitty to get treated as horribly as i do by him. it feels even worse that i know that he does it to make himself feel better. it's like an even bigger "fuck you". i know that a calm, rational outline and/or conversation about said shitty behavior won't work because it feels like we've tried that before.
i'm at a loss as to what to do.
it doesn't help that he's acting as bipolar as a cokehead. and that his voice is more nasaly than fran drescher's.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
After thinking about this today, what I end up visualizing the most is you sort of talking to him like a stern mom would talk to a 7-17 year old boy. It's hard to give some advice here without knowing specific actions or your specific interaction types or things that he is doing to be an asshole, because there are thousands of varieties of assholes and how to deal with them. But I just imagine that it would be like him saying "Fuck you mom, Make my dinner bitch." and then the Mom saying "Johnny, We don't talk to people like that, and until you can talk to me in the appropriate voice, I will not respond" with a June Cleaver smile. or "I don't deserve to be talked to or treated like that, and until you treat me appropriately, you can starve" with a little more edge.
ReplyDelete